Doorman

This is the sentinel that is left out to greet folks next to my door. Handsome looking pooch, love dogs. Love pits, they really get a bad rap, wonder why? Too bad when you walk past it lunges and barks at you. Its so big that you have to walk in the street if you really want to feel comfortable. The fucking guy who owns this dog, is the same fucking guy who owns the 99 Honda. He just got another pit bull that he likes to tie slightly away from this one so that they just constantly bark at each other. Guess he wanted to add a new rythem or cadence to the car alarm.

Corner Heads

These guys are out on the corner every day. And I mean E-V-E-R-Y day. The guy in the black hat lives in my building. He likes to constantly harass my neighbor for change. Guess he's rent stabilized and on the dole, but still manages to slap it back. Poison of choice, booze and herbs from what I can tell.
The guy with the brown hat is a Jamaican homeless guy who barely has his Patois down. He calls a payphone booth his home most of the day but when gettin' high on anything he can get his hands on, likes to lean on this fence. Tough to get angry at this guy, hell, he is homeless after all. Likes to piss in my elevator whenever he gets a chance, and makes video game noises at me when I pass buy. He's the go-to-guy as a look out if he can pull it together, and the standard dude to stand next to in order to make it seem like you're not dealing drugs. He's a magnet for every shady character in the neighborhood.

The Standard Car Alarms

Now for my second favorite. So, what would you do if you owned an awesome 1999 Honda Civic with no tire bolt covers, dents, and a faded yellow "Baby on Board Sticker" that you never drove and just moved from one side of the street to another? If your answer is put the loudest, most sensitive car alarm on it as humanly possible, you are the winner! I would venture to say this car alarm probably goes off for 30 seconds an average of once every hour, every day. Doesn't seem like much right? That's because it's an average, and doesn't account when local 3 year old's turn it into a touch song game. I swear, a little while back when we had some heavy winds it was going off non-stop. Every time an ambulance goes by, or a street sweeper (which is two times a week at 7am mind you since its a dead-end street) or a fire truck or a Dollar Van that won't shut up it goes off. I've placed flyer's on the car explaining the situation to the owners, but they could give a damn. Attention is appreciated in any way people can take it I guess. Oh yeah, not sure if I want to confront the owner personally just yet. I always see him hanging out on the block doin' nothing with his two pit bulls which he conveniently likes to chain to the fence next to my building. Somehow I wish I could afford an Acura SUV without working. How is it done!? Must rock out eBay.

To begin...

Ahhh, the classics. What a better way to start this tale than a sweet combo shot of my two favorites of the block.
In this picture you will see what I like to refer to as "The Box" and "Fuck Faces Piece of Shit Honda." Firstly, The Box. Have you seen one of these on your block? Probably not. This is some type of item that belongs to the Cablevision company. Yet what it really is, is a permanent table for nefarious activity. A perfect height for sittin' and playing dominoes, smokin' a blunt, drinkin' some Popov or just screamin' at some hoe. It never goes away, and is the center of all things shitty on this block. Hopefully I'll get some pictures of people hanging out at it soon. An old timer from back in the day said that people used to poor bleach on their stoops so that when people hung out on them it would ruin their clothes. Interesting idea. This is also the location where I saw my first shooting victim stumble away from and crouch over into the street before they were raced away in a car. I definitely thought this would be too gnarly to be ignored by the general populous, but after fifteen minutes of police no-show, I thought I would call. They finally showed up 5 minutes later. Oh, had to ask the 911 attendant if they wanted a description of the person who was shuttled off. To The Box!

The Worst Place To Live...EVER!!!

You know that scenario when your dealing with a customer service rep over the phone? Well, that's why I'm creating this blog. I live at 2111 Beekman Place in the Prospect Lefferts Garden "neighborhood" of Brooklyn. I have been here about a year and have no where else to go with my frustrations other than this blog as an outlet. This might be the worst apartment experience in New York I have ever had since I moved here 8 years ago. Between car alarms, drug dealers, homeless people, fires, barking pit bulls, shootings, prostitutes, hop heads, domestic fist fights, wild teenagers, screaming crazies, disgusting neighbors, and other assorted "quality of life" infractions, I have to call this the worst place to live...ever. When the police don't show up, and people are either too scared (like myself) to say anything (of yeah, the community meetings have spies- yup, it's that hardcore), what else can you do but blog? This is also inspired by a blog about a building around the corner on Midland with a similar situation. Basically the only reason I chose to live here is that it is close to the semi-wonderful B/Q subway line, and was the only 1 bedroom I could afford in the area. I know what you're thinking, "well that's your problem right there!" Maybe so, but step back from your life in NYC for a minute and ask yourself whether those two qualifications are that unreasonable. Anyway, if you live nearby maybe you have the same frustrations and we can all laugh at our misery a little bit.